I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
