Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
