I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
