I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Farmville is her only friend.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
