Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
