There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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