belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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