you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
