she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
