I love black thongs
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Randomize
