her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
its not stalking. its research.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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