I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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