I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Randomize
