me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
