you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
this beer tastes like vomit already
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
