What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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