I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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