Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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