there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
