Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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