4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
