I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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