i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
