Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize