I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
its liver damage thursday
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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