It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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