my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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