So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
