school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
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We left an ass print on the piano.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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