I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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