I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I want you more than these girls want KFC
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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