Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
