I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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