Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
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As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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