3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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