enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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