Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
