if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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