Will you blow on my dice?
I think my vagina is haunted
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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