Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
