either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
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I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
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i need some magic done to my vagina
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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