I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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