Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.

Fav 14 4865 748
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(301): View more from Maryland

I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.

(1-662): View more from Mississippi

I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.

Fav 31 8384 1991
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(281): View more from Texas

my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family

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(+61): View more from Australia

This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business

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(636): View more from Missouri

We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning

Fav 2 450 152
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(443): View more from Maryland

.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket

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