okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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