Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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