the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
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i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
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I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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