they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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