My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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