That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
