Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize