Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
