By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize