ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
