You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize