I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
