Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
