During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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